Why I love my wife

Ephesians 5:25-29 (NKJV): Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

 

Do you see what Paul says here? He is talking about loving your wife. I want to address that today, although, this is also referring to Christ coming back for His Church. We will talk about that another time.

Do you love your wife? Are you doing what we men are to be doing? Some of you maybe saying, “Mark, I do love my wife. Why are you asking me this?” Let me share with you what I think this means, especially for me.

First, I love my wife because I love God. I love God, because He first loved us, 1 John 4:19, and because He is Love, 1 John 4:8. Because He first loved us and because He is Love, then it stands to reason that He could teach me how to love.

I only knew how to love myself when I was doing my own thing. If I was dating someone, had a friend, or was helping someone, it usually was so that I would gain something. This meant that there were times that people did not get the help I could have provided if I didn’t get something in return. This also lead to me being depressed, angry, suspicious of others, and the list goes on. I do not want to have that life anymore.

I had to learn how to love others before I could marry my wife. Let’s face it, if we do not know how to love our spouse, how long do you think your relationship last? Am I telling you it is easy to do this or even to have a relationship after learning how to love? No, it is more meaningful.

Second, I love my wife because I believe God brought her as a helpmate/partner, Genesis 2:20-25. You see, while I was learning how to love others, I was praying that God would bring someone that would be a support to whatever ministry I was in. I wanted someone who would be like-minded in my beliefs, who would understand when I am involved in something for ministry, who would pray for me and others that God would reach through my ministry, and who would also be willing to roll up her sleeves, from time to time, to get dirty. My wife fits that to a tee. Am I saying that we are always in agreement whenever it deals with ministry? No, if that was the case, then I married a pushover and I certainly did not want a pushover in my life. I wanted someone who may be able to point things out to me that I would miss otherwise.

Third, I love my wife because she puts up with me. There’s not much I can say in this area except that she probably is the only one that could put up with me, I am certainly not perfect and can be difficult to live with from time to time. She also is good with tempering me when it comes to talking to or teaching the boys about something, as well as others. The best part of this is that she loves me.

Fourth, I love my wife because she is a good mom. When we married, she had two boys that she was raising. I also had two sons, that although one of them is not speaking to me at this time, she was willing to learn to love. My oldest, the one who is not on speaking terms with me, has reached out to her from time to time to ask for direction on different things. Their interactions have always seem to be positive ones. This is exciting because, she showed him love even though he is not hers. My youngest would come and visit us and eventually moved in with us. This meant she had to interact with him more consistently and definitely needed to learn how to love him. It certainly was not easy for her to do this. She really is a good mom with all the boys.

There is always a growing list of the reasons of why I love her but, all this to say, as a  Man of God, I need to live this example not only for her, but for the boys and for others. I did not have the best teacher growing up about how to show love. However, since God has worked on my heart and changed me, I need to pass a better legacy to my boys, and pray that I do not mess it up too much. Even if I do, I have to pray that they learn from my mistakes and chose to follow Him who is Love and not fall into those same mistakes.

So, again I ask, do you love your wife? Are you willing to make changes?

Wow, has it been a year since I started this?

I started this over a year ago with the intent to share thoughts of everyday life in ministry. I have not at all done that. I am now going to try to do this and try to keep it up at least once a week.

I wanted to share somethings I am currently praying about and learning over time. It starts off with this:

Lately, I have been feeling a little disconnected. I have been praying but, I have not been feeling God speak to me like He was when I started this venture. I have been remembering that if it feels like God moved, then who did really? I have wanted to do what I could to get reconnected.

Last night, I was sitting in the church office and thinking about this. I had stopped by there on my way home from work because I needed to get some communications out via email and phone calls. I looked out over Central and felt sad that I was not doing more. What can I do to reach out more? What can I do to get the word out that we are here to help others see Him and develop a relationship.

I went home and felt like I was a failure. I felt like what we are doing has no purpose and that we are stuck in the water. I was afraid I disappointed Him again and wanted to stop doing this. We have been going for a year and it seems like it is not taking off like we are hoping it to do. It didn't seem to matter that God was using us to reach others and that at least 1 or 2 people a week are giving their lives to the Lord or rededicating their lives. (please, understand that I am not trying to discourage anyone nor am I saying I am giving up, these are some honest thoughts I have been having and just some of the struggles I have been dealing with)

This morning I woke up and starting my quiet time, at least I still did this as much as I can. In one of the devotions I read, "Pastor who is not praying, is playing...", great, that was some encouragement. It felt like more a kick to the teeth. I thought I am praying but probably not as much as I should. After all, He has placed some people under my guidance who I need to pray for.

As I get ready for work, I listen to some teachings to help encourage me and to be sure I get fed. One of the pastors I was listening to was talking about service. I wanted to be sure I listened to what he was talking about. It seems that he has dealt with some of the similar things I was feeling. He said "Yesterday, I came to the church to work on my message. When I got here, I saw a line of cars with people in them, ready to do service. I thought, 'I wish I could do some service instead of being locked up in an office for several hours preparing a message.' Then it dawned on me, 'You're doing service based on obedience'. We need to remember that our service needs to be in obedience rather than in being busy. There is many needs out there and if we respond to those needs rather than to the obedience of God, we can stay busy but not be effective."  He then talked about how the older men are to build the younger men up.

I then started thinking and praying. I was getting fired up again. I realized that God is using me to build up others to do service. I realized that we are all doing what we are supposed to do to be obedient to Him. He chose me to be the overseer of this ministry and that I do not always have to be the "hands on guy". I can get involved but I need to remember that I am to encourage those who He brought into our ministry and help them do the service.

Later on, as I ma spending more quiet time, I remember that there are others who have gone through this. I think of David, who, although he was a man after God's own heart, went through bouts of depression. I thought of Paul, who had divine intervention, went through physical ailments among other things. Then I thought about how they dealt with these things. They prayed. So, here I am again, back to being obedient and praying. Please, pray with me.